Category Archives: movies

Smarty’s Top 5 Celebrity CGI List

Posted on December 17, 2009 | 7 Comments

The following is a list of celebrities who CGI (can get it) simply by designating a time a place. Because I have recently severed ties with The Carolina Panthers, Julius Peppers is no longer No. 1 on my list.
While I would still gladly suck the lips off his face, it is simply too painful to talk about him or that train wreck of team I’m not supporting anymore this season. Feel free to add your list, but mine is as follows:

1. Lenny Kravitz

OMG, if the Lord made anything better, I hope he kept it for himself. This is easily the sexiest man alive. Kravitz is what my college friends and I call “Have yo’ baby fine.” I would gladly push out three or 10 of his kids with no questions asked, with smile on my face all while singing “Are You Gonna Go My Way.”
My lust affair with Lenny began when I was but a wee lass. I remember being about 11 or 12 years old, watching MTV when I saw this gorgeous man playing a wicked ass riff on his guitar while throwing his long, heavy-looking locks about. That became my Summer song that year and though I was just a preteen, I knew then I would go anyway Mr. Kravitz wanted to take me. #doesthatsoundbad

2. Matthew McConaughey


I don’t know what it is. Maybe it’s that adorable face, those blue eyes or that Texas drawl. Whatever it is, he’s got it. We first saw him in “Fast Times of Ridgemont High” but I didn’t get into him until he played Jake Briggance in “A Time to Kill.”
After that, I got hooked on everything this dude appeared in – the good, the bad and the ugly. From “How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days” to “We Are Marshall” to “Amistad” to “Failure to Launch.” I watched ‘em all just to see him and I am not ashamed.

3. Clive Owen


Under normal circumstances, I find the British accent to be effeminate. *shrug* I just do, OK? But on Owen, it’s manly. It’s sexy. Hell, it’s erotic. Imagine having him whisper in your ear when … Y’know, I’m gonna stop right there.

4. Columbus Short

Do I even need a reason to be digging on Columbus Short? Have you seen him?! I wouldn’t mind stomping the yard with him or breakin’ him off ‘this Christmas.’ Pssh! I’m telling you, he’s got such a pretty smile and I just wanna lick sticky stuff off his chest. Wait, I sound like a freak. *thinking fast* Um, I’d take him to church and then I’d cook for him and we’d go play miniature golf. Yea, that’s it. *looks around suspiciously* You believe me, right?

And last, but not least …

5. Will.I.Am (Don’t judge me!)


What can I say, I’m a fan of a dude who can march to the beat of his own drummer. If there’s a guy out there who will go against the grain and be himself at all costs, no matter who gets offended, he could very much be THE MAN for me. That measures 1,000 on the Sexy-o-Rhicter Scale (yes, I just made that up).
Not only is Will talented, the dude was teleported to CNN studios during the 2008 elections for crying out loud! Talk about being futuristic about his -ish! Don’t be 2000-and-late on recognizing the brother’s sexiness!

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Posted in contentment, foolishness, happiness, hmmm, insanity, movies, music, optimism, Random, random thoughts, sex, Things that make you go, Will.I.Am

Things that make me smile

Posted on May 29, 2009 | 3 Comments

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Posted in Bernie Mac, Eddie Murphy, movies, random thoughts, rants, TV, Tyler Perry

What in the Hollywood Hell?

Posted on May 26, 2009 | 2 Comments

*whistle blowing* FLAG ON THE PLAY!!! OFF SIDES!!! TECHNICAL FOUL!!! STOOOOOOOOOOOP!!!
Now that I have your attention, It has come to my attention in recent weeks that a lot of producers out in LaLaWood have decided that it is a good idea to remake several cult classics and I have taken offense to the foolishness.
You guys know I am an aspiring screen writer and you know I LOVE movies with every ounce of my being. What you may not know is I love them to the point that I apply quotes from movies to everyday life. Sometimes, my family and I ‘speak movie’ to each other. It’s hilarious really. Usually, the point is to use a line that either most people don’t remember or haven’t heard.
The problem is most of the movies we like, that are off the beaten path, are about to be bastardized with remakes coming soon to theaters and I HATE it, you hear me? HATE IT!
Case in point, “Fame.” OMG, I (heart) “Fame” so much it’s not funny.
It’s not just the story line, for some of the performers, the acting was horrible. It was Debbie Allen as Lydia who made the movie for me, though, when she said, “You’ve got big dreams, you want fame, well fame comes, right here is where you start paying for it – in sweat!”
Shoot, after that, I was ready to work! And if you think about it, that applies to everything in life. Now, sadly, they’re re-making it and they’ve gotten Naturi Naughton to be CoCo. *smdh*
If defaming “Fame” were not enough, these crazy people are planning to re-make “The Last Dragon,” and make Samuel L. Jackson, Shonuff. I guess we haven’t seen Jackson holler enough, now we gotta watch him claim to be “The baddest Mofo Low Down around this town!” *smh* Where will it end?!
I tell you what, if they re-make “The Wiz” I’mma have to cut somebody! I will phone up The Jaded Nyer to borrow one of her limited edition machetes and cut somebody!
Since we know that screenwriters all over Hollywood have run out of creativity and we know they’re going to re-do it anyway, one of my friends, K.Rhone and I have taken the liberty to suggest a few folks we think should play the parts now and some posthumously. Enjoy!
Muahahahahahahaha!

Dorothy was played by one Diana Ross. She did a good job and I’m not sure who could fill her blinged out slippers, but I’d give Jazmin Sullivan a crack at it based on her amazing vocals and her ability to bounce back after she busted her ass!
Posthumously, I would say that Aaliyah hands down! She was just awesome and I think her sweetness radiated in everything she did, even that horrible acting she did in “Romeo Must Die.”
The Cowardly Lion was played by Ted Ross who was soooo hilarious as the lion. I think the only logical choice would be the Velvet Teddy Bear himself, Ruben Studdard. He’s got the voice (and the girth) for it. I think he’d be awesome!
Posthumously, it could only be Gerald Levert. And he woulda played the hell outta that lion and brought some, dare I say, Big Boy Swag to it.
The rusting, big woman loving Tin Man was brilliantly executed by Nipsey Russell. We kicked around a few ideas of Jamie Foxx and Anthony Hamilton as the Tin Man, but I finally settled on Dule Hill from “The West Wing” and more recently “Psych.” I settled on him because of course he’s an excellent tap dancer and his singing voice doesn’t suck. But, Russell couldn’t sing that well either.
Posthumously, NOBODY could EH-vah out Nipsey Russell, Nipsey Russell. So I’d keep him as the only one who could ever play that part!
As for the Scarecrow, he was brilliantly played by a young, Negro Michael Jackson. I thought, and thought and thought about this and K.Rhone added her own thoughts to this as well. Her first nomination was one Usher Raymond IV. My choice was “Iron Fist” Chris Brown because he’s a better dancer.
Given Brown’s recent troubles and the fact that I want this movie to do well, I don’t think it would be a good look to have one of the most hated men in America in a principle role in this movie. So, Ursher wins by default.
Posthumously, I’d say Michael Jackson. LoL. That Michael Jackson is dead now and no one could top him for that.
And Richard Pryor is the best Wiz there ever was. K.Rhone and I both agree that The Wiz should be a “mature comedian” and I have several ideas, but none of them stick out as “The One.” I think George Wallace, J. Anthony Brown, Steve Harvey or Miss Laura (yes, a female Wiz) could pull it off.
Now for the supporting roles, I’m just gonna name ‘em all off and I’ll let your imaginations wonder why. Here we go:
Ms. One – The numbers witch who came out after Dorothy killed the first Wicked Witch should be played by Katt Williams or Sheryl Underwood. Y’know Williams would pimp it out at the male witch while Sheryl Underwood would be funny as all hell coming through there with her numbers!
Crows Wanda Sykes, Chris Rock, Mo’Nique and Rickey Smiley. Do you really need to wonder why they would make the funniest crows EVER?!
Glinda the Good – I’m thinking Patti LaBelle or CeCe Winans for no other reason than their vocals and the fact that I’m sick of the light-skinned long hair chick being the “good” one in everything! OK, that was some childhood stuff creeping up, but I really do LOVE Lena Horne.
My wild card pick for the good witch though would be Miss Bebe Zahara Benet, the winner from last season’s “RuPaul’s Drag Race.”
Evilene just HAS to be Jilly from Philly and that is NONE other than Jill Scott!

Kanye “The Gay Fish” West needs to assume Quincy Jones’ role and produce most of the music and appear as the conductor to the music during the ballet at the end.
OK, whaddaya think? Who did I miss? Who would be your picks or did I hit the nail on the head?
A girl can dream, can’t she?!

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Posted in celebrity deaths, Diana Ross, drag queens, Drag Race, foolishness, Kanye West, Katt Williams, movies, random thoughts, Steve Harvey, TJMS, Usher

Obama – The Movie

Posted on November 6, 2008 | 19 Comments

So, last night, a friend and I were talking about the fact that there has to be a movie about President-Elect Barack Obama’s life coming out.

We’re not sure when, we don’t know who would do it, but I thought why shouldn’t I cast the movie and post it here for you guys to weigh in?

I have chosen several people who I think would fit certain parts. I am going to show you a split screen photo of the actor along with the person I want them to play and I’ll give my reasons. Keep in mind that this is simply my opinion of what I would like to see and who I would like to see. The comment section is for you all to weigh in or to give your suggestions of who would make the better actor for the role. A’ight?

OK. First of all, this movie has got to be a Spike Lee Joint. Nothing would do my heart better than to see opening credits that read, “40 Acres and a Mule Filmworks” and “OBAMA” in all caps.

Barack Obama


That handsome brother on the left is Roger Guenveur Smith. I know you’ve seen him in several Spike Lee Joints including “Do the Right Thing,” “School Daze,” “Malcolm X” and others. The thing I remember him for most though is his one-man show “A Huey P. Newton Story,” in which he wrote and starred. That too was directed by Spike Lee.

The man to the right of that needs no introduction as every person in the free world who has eyes can identify him. That is none other than Will Smith. We all know his work “The Pursuit of Happyness,” “Ali,” “Independence Day” and of course the list goes on and on.

Either of them would work because they are both phenomenal actors. Obviously, Roger Smith fits the part because he looks the part with the light skin. Will Smith also fits the part because he has the ears for it.



I think that Evan Ross should be tapped to play a young Obama. He’s becoming a good actor and I think he could probably fit the part, after he’s had a tan. What do you think?

Michelle Obama


Ladies and gentlemen, Gabrielle Union. *applause* I like her, she’s pretty, she’s confident and I think she could pull this off. I think she can be aged to show Michelle getting older.

Malia and Sasha

OK, of course there aren’t many children of color on television and in movies, but I picked these two because I think they can pull off the parts.

On the left is China Anne McClain, she starred in Tyler Perry’s Daddy’s Little Girls and she is perhaps best known as Jazmin on Tyler Perry’s House of Payne. She is feisty and sometimes too grown for her own good, but I think she’d make a perfect Sasha, that’s the baby girl who loves the camera.

The little diva on the right is Willow Smith, Will and Jada’s baby. She seems to have a lot of personality with her too, but I think that she’s a little older than China and I think that they would be the perfect ones to play the small roles.

Barack’s Parents
I think Jane Krakowski and Djimon Hounsou would be the best actors to play his parents. When I saw the picture of Obama as a child sitting on the fence with his mother supporting his back, I immediately thought of the “Ally McBeal” actress.

I think they look a lot alike and Krakowski has that wide-eyed innocence that his mother has in all the pictures I’ve seen of her. And Hounsou looks like he could be the stern man Obama wrote about in his book “Dreams From My Father.”
Shoot, put some Malcolm X glasses on that brother and make him put on his serious face and I’ll bet he’ll look like Obama Sr.
To me, Hounsou and Obama Sr., share a lot of the same facial features and they both have smiles that look like they light up the room. Now I can’t tell by the picture what Obama Sr., really looks like but I know Hounsou is a gorgeous man and if Obama Sr., made Obama II, he had to be a handsome feller in his own right.

Stanley and Madelyn Dunham (Obama’s grandparents)

I happen to think that Robert Duval and Sharon Gless from TV’s “Cagney and Lacey” would be great as his grandparents.

Not really hearing a lot about his grandparents in the media, I am going solely on looks and acting ability. In his book, I read that his grandparents were his rock and the people he looked up to for a lot of his wisdom and well, don’t they look wise to you?

Maya Soetoro-Ng (his sister)

When I saw his sister, I thought that the only person who could possibly play her is Thandie Newton. These two look so much alike and Newton is a great actress. You guys probably remember her as Terrance Howard’s wife on “Crash.” She also has a major role in this year’s movie “W” as Condoleeza Rice. I know, she looks nothing like her, but that is neither here nor there.

Joe Biden

I think Will Ferrell will make the best Joe Biden in Hollywood. First off, I know Ferrell is a comedic actor, but Biden is one funny dude. I had the opportunity to observe him at a rally earlier this year.
He says exactly what’s on his mind and I think that Ferrell is probably like that at home. Plus, they both have that same crooked smile that looks like, “I just farted.”
Everyone else, I just post their names and pictures and you can tell me what you thing, OK?

Brian Dennehy as John McCain


Tina Fey or Megan Mullally as Sarah Palin


Glenn Close as Hillary Clinton


Eric Dane as Bill Clinton


Paula Newsome as Oprah Winfrey


Jeffrey Wright as Jeremiah Wright

Who did I miss and what do you think of my picks for the characters?

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Posted in Barack Obama, Michelle Obama, movies, Oprah, Will Smith

And they’re off …

Posted on September 14, 2008 | 5 Comments

… gas prices have again made the trek upward again this weekend.
I gassed up my car on Thursday night for $3.59/gallon and packed my clothes in anticipation of driving down to the Queen City (Charlotte, NC) to see my best friend, my goddaughter and my brand new godson this weekend.
I got up Friday, finished up my stories for the week and jumped on the highway only to find that gas had gone up as much as a dollar in some places overnight. To add injury to insult, some gas stations were limiting drivers to only 10 gallons.
What does that have to do with me since my tank was already full, you may ask? Well, I could get down there, but getting back would be a different story. I could go, but I would run the risk of spending $50 to $60 to fill my tank when I got back and another $40 when I got home for the week. I don’t know about ya’ll but I don’t have it like that.
Long story short, I opted not to head to the QC and went to the movies to see “Tyler Perry’s The Family That Preys.” And I must say to all of you I was presently surprised. Honestly, I don’t know what I expected, but it was a good film. Trust me.

OK, first of all, I have to give Sanaa Lathan her props. Yea, yea, I know she’s pretty and everything but up until now, she’s always taken on the same type of role. The girl next door, love starved pretty girl who doesn’t know how pretty she is type of role. But she really stretched herself for this one.
I must say, I had to sort of deprogram myself to realize that this was only a character that she was playing. With all due respect to Ms. Lathan, she plays a great bitch.
The film also stars two of my favorite actresses Kathy Bates and Alfre Woodard. For the first 15 minutes of the movie, I could not get “Misery” and “Crooklyn” out of my head. After that, it was a trip.
Tyler Perry pulled a Spike Lee and cast himself in the movie, but it worked. The only thing that didn’t work was that god-awful wig he wore.
Don’t get me wrong, there was the overly clueless character who everybody wanted to choke via Rockmond Dunbar. And my girl, Taraji P. Henson. She is so my favorite “new” actress. I say new because she hasn’t been around that long, but I just like her. She’s picked a lot of different type of characters and she’s convinced me as all of them.
I am not going to spoil it for you but I will tell you that it is certainly an entertaining movie and I am proud of Perry. He did his thing on this one. Long story short, go see it. For real, don’t bootleg it either, go to the movies, buy some popcorn and mix in some peanut M&Ms and drink a Sprite.
Go on, you owe it to yourself.

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Posted in gas prices, movies, Tyler Perry