Category Archives: hmmm

Father your children…

For the past couple of days the interwebs have been all abuzz with foolishness about Chris Brown’s fans and Too Short’s “fatherly advice” to young boys. Clearly, I missed something.

Millions of these children Tweeted about how they’d “let Chris Brown beat” them. They were of course referencing the incident of domestic violence between him and his then girlfriend, Rhianna. I know it was a while ago but we can never forget. I, of course, can’t blame Chris Brown for the foolishness that happened during his performance at the Grammys. I can, however, blame these lil’ girls, lil’ gays and their parents. While there are those of us who can not let it go, there is no way these girls, and gays, should be joking about letting him beat them.

As was stated here before, I have zero tolerance for domestic violence. While Brown has paid his debt to society by doing as mandated by the court, there are some folks who just won’t ever forgive his actions. I get that. I also get that to some of his fans, he can do no wrong and they still lust after him.

Kids will be kids but parents have to be parents. I’m sure some of these parents could not possibly have known what their daughters were saying. I insist that they need to find out, particularly fathers. I’ve discussed that fathers have a responsibility to their daughters, and yes, their gay sons, too, to show them how they should be treated while dating. They need to actually sit down and discuss with them what is and isn’t acceptable. The fact that these children even Tweeted the words, “Chris Brown can beat me up…” is both frightening and sickening.

As a father, you need to explain that it’s never OK to even joke about domestic violence. There are too many folks who have lost their lives for it. You need to explain no matter how fine he is or how well he sings or dances that it is NEVER OK for a boy, a guy, a man to put his hands on you in a violent manner. Ever. Grab your daughters and your gay sons, hug them and show them how a man is supposed to treat them.

If that’s not enough motivation to parent your own damn kids, Too Short has taken to offering up fatherly advice to young men about “how to turn young girls out.” O_o Yea, that Too Short.

Why is his old ass still relevant enough to grace the web pages of XXL in anything but a historical retrospect of Bay Area rappers? The last time Too Short was relevant was whenever “Shake Dat Monkey” came out and it had ratchet chicks from near and far shaking it up in the club.

Apparently in a video posted on XXL’s site, Too Short told young boys transitioning from middle to high school, in graphic detail, how to sexually stimulate their female counterparts – forcefully. Far be it from me to bait anyone on any issue but from what I read and heard about the video because I didn’t see it, it is akin to assault. The Grio quoted Too Short saying in the video, “You push her up against the wall, you take your finger and put a little spit on it and you stick your finger in her underwear and you rub it on there and watch what happens.”

First of all, any father of a daughter should be outraged and ready to string Too Short up and flog his ass for suggesting any boy do that to a girl. That statement suggests that he is an advocate of sexual aggression and that attention uninvited is in fact rape. How dare he suggest and describe that for young boys? His suggestion to the boys gives the impression that girls don’t deserve to decide whether or not they want this attention. It suggests that these boys seize their opportunity whenever they feel like it. I can’t, no, I won’t sit, stand or walk for this kind of bullshit.

This is why you monitor what your kids are watching online. Nothing good can come of minors watching anything Too Short-related. The man raps about hard life and pimping in Oakland. He has never discussed a single thing in his music that would imply that he respects any woman. I will say that he issued an apology via video on the XXL site. He covered himself by saying he was in “Too Short” mode and that these young boys should just be themselves and not get caught up in “hip hop personas.” O_o

Fathers, when it comes to your sons, it is your job to do exactly the opposite of that bullshit Too Short spewed in that video and in his music. It is up to you to explain to your sons that no is always no. Explain that women are to be respected and treated like human beings and not property there for their lustful fantasies. Tell them that rappers like Too Short are all persona and that the life they rap about and perpetuate is but a caricature. In other words, father them. Father all your children.

As a father, as a man, you are charged with being the leader of your family. You are the one who shows your family the way. If you are not cutting the path and leading the way, they will latch on to someone who will. The problem with that is they could latch on to someone who doesn’t know where the hell they’re going. Your family is your responsibility. When you fail to parent your children, you have failed them and us, too. Step up and do your job.

Know when to shut up …

Sir, there's a seat over there. You can have it.

Anybody got a fancy umbrella they can loan Roland S. Martin until this shit storm blows over? After pressure from the Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation, CNN has suspended Martin indefinitely over a pair of Tweets on Super Bowl Sunday.

Like thousands of others, I follow Martin on Twitter and I saw the aforementioned Tweets when they went out. When I saw them, I said aloud, “This is gonna be a shit storm.” I’m sad to say that I was right. Immediately after the last Tweet was sent, Martin started engaging in a back and forth with people insisting that the message was poking fun at soccer and not gay men. He also argued that the urgency of violence was simply taken out of context and that it was all in jest. That this sort of thing happens during sporting events.

To some, Martin’s Tweets were seen as homophobic and advocating gay bashing. Instead of immediately recognizing how those Tweets can be misconstrued and apologizing, Martin got defensive. I would love to say I’m surprised, but, I’m not. I’ve followed Martin for quite a while. I’ve seen him “talk junk” to people during sporting events and pontificate on various subjects. I’ve also seen him mouth off and offend people in an effort to make his point. He did that in a comment on this very blog just last year. The difference between the exchange he and I had here and on Twitter and the exchange he had with GLAAD is, I don’t take him seriously.

While I’m sure Martin did not intend for anyone to read his Tweets and take offense to them and he does not advocate gay bashing, one’s perception is one’s reality. If I took Martin seriously, I’m sure that I, too, would have been offended. This is America and yes the first amendment does guarantee us all freedom of speech, I contend that this does not apply to Martin and I’ll tell you why.

One of the first things you learn in your first journalism class is that you forfeit your right to an opinion on hot button issues such as politics, religion and polarizing social issues in public settings. If you are a working journalist, part of your job is to appear neutral in all things so that there is no appearance of a bias or slant. Martin falls into a unique category of being a commentator who is hired and expected to give an opinion. He is also a trained journalist and self-identifies as such. That being said, he should know when to shut up.

Monday night, Martin posted an apology on his blog. He has since been invited to have a sit down with GLAAD brass and his bosses at CNN to find some resolution. Since the announcement of his suspension, people have taken to social networks to announce their outrage over his suspension saying it was uncalled for and he was just exercising his freedom of speech. I get that. What I don’t get is black folks playing the race card like it’s the Big Joker in a spades game saying this would not have happened to a white guy. I disagree and I think most journalists will.

I took an unofficial poll of my journalist friends and most of them agree that this is a case of him being careless. If there were any injustice at all, the National Association of Black Journalists would have been all over this thing. Instead, president Greg Lee released a statement calling this a teachable moment. I wholeheartedly agree.

With social media now a part of our daily lives and one of the most useful tools in a journalists arsenal, it is imperative that we use it in a professional manner. In my local chapter of NABJ chapter, my fellow journalists and I make it a point to remind student journalists to be mindful of how they conduct themselves on social media. Employers check you out on those things and if you are in front of the camera, like Martin, whatever you post or Tweet is indirectly associated with your specific organization. Use all the disclaimers you like, but Martin is “the loud, husky, black guy on CNN.” As long as he’s affiliated with CNN, that’s who he’ll be.

I hope that we can all look at this as a learning opportunity and embrace that just because we can say whatever we want doesn’t mean we should. Though being born American gives us the right to free speech, we have a responsibility to exercise it wisely. Free speech should be used to uplift people and liberate the oppressed. It should not, however, be used to degrade and hurt others. To whom much is given, much is required. It’s high time we all learn some restraint or learn to be accountable for what comes out of our mouths.

Acting #Drakeish …

"Hellooooooooo, nurse!"

Every year, scores of people tune in to the big game not to see the league’s best teams fight it out but to see how creative brand advertisers have been in coming up with new commercials. It seems the best commercials always come up during the Super Bowl. This year’s ads, tho, came up a little short. There were only a couple that I would say were great. For example, the M&Ms commercial with the brown M&M was hilarious to me. A couple of others were funny but two commercials in particular caused quite the stir in my Twitter timeline.

The folks over at H&M and Dannon finally realized that women are also watching the Super Bowl and we can definitely appreciate some sweet looking eye candy. Dannon decided to bless us with America’s gorgeous Grecian uncle, John Stamos, getting sonned by his lady of his inability to share his yogurt. I mean, when the commercial first came on, I was slightly turned and then I laughed out loud. All in all, a solid commercial. The hotness, tho, was the near-nekkid David Beckham.

Lord, Posh Spice, I apologize for lusting after your husband but that man is fine as frog’s hairs. *smh* *bows head* I’m sorry, I just had to thank the Lord for a nearly perfect creation there. Anyway, a lot of the men in my timeline felt some type of way about the ladies pointing out the gorgeousness of these men. One of my followers actually Tweeted, “Enough women don’t watch the Super Bowl for that fuck ass Beckham commercial, though.” *snicker* Another wanted to know how (black women) would feel if (black men) were to sing the praises of white women. *guffaw* One more sent a gif that I can’t find of a *face palm* to convey his feelings. To all of that I say, y’all are a mess.”

Last year, black folks were offended by a Pepsi Max commercial. This year, black men seem to be offended by us damn near drooling over Becks. What I want to know is how this is different from all other commercials starring damn near nekkid women that are geared toward men. I mean, how else can you explain those Go Daddy commercials with Danica Patrick in a bikini or this year’s of some random chick being drawn on with body paint? What about the Fiat commercial where the dude is all but drooling over the woman?

I’m confused here, are the fellas jealous over the fact that we’re so vocal about our attraction to an assless white guy? Are they upset at the fact that advertisers are recognizing there is a growing number of female viewers? Do they think Becks’ commercial will usher in tampon commercials or something? I mean, really. Some of the fellas are acting real Drakeish** about this. What’s the issue? They can’t possibly be upset that they are made to look at a half-nekkid man when we are inundated with images of half-nekkid women on a daily basis. They can’t be offended after they Tweet and RT and Re-RT nekkid images of women into our timelines a go-zillion times an hour.

I mean, if any of this is the case, I will have to take a page from Patti LaHelle’s book and offer them a mattress to lay their burdens down. That or I’ll give y’all a lift to Home Depot to buy you some lumber and materials to build a bridge and get over it. Women the biggest consumers and these companies are finally catching on. Sorry fellas, the days of commercials starring talking animals and nekkid girls with beer are on their way out. My condolences.

**Drakeish: sensitive; in your feelings; emotional; tender

Motivational Mondays

“The greatest discovery of all time is that a person can change his future by merely changing his attitude.”
(c) Oprah Winfrey

Happy New Week to you all!

Now that the weekend is over, it’s time to hit the ground running. You’ve probably walked into work to a mountain of messages, seemingly extra bubbly people who you simply don’t have time to deal with and you are probably less energetic than on Monday mornings than you are after you’ve worked a full day. I know it’s been ingrained in us to absolutely abhor Mondays, I propose we try something different.

Mighty O

For me, Oprah is the most inspiring person I have never met. While she is wealthy, it is not her wealth that makes me want to do better, it is because she is unapologetically her authentic self no matter who is offended. I. Love. It! What I also love is her willingness to share with the masses the wisdom she’s gained over the course of her life’s journey. Since she’s shared it before, I am going to share it again.

In the quote above, the Mighty O states that your future can be changed by simply changing your attitude. I happen to be a believer. We may not all have control over what happens to us in our lives but we do have control over our attitudes. Our reactions. Our ability to roll with the punches. How we treat others. I want to encourage you to shift your thinking and subsequently your attitude toward Monday. Let’s start by dissociating negative terms from it like mad and manic. How about we start using positive words like mighty and masterful or majestic. There is power in words, use it to your advantage.

Some years back, Oprah discussed on her show, the power of “The Secret.” The secret to success is all about willing great things to you. Part of that is speaking it to existence. That being said, speak greatness to your Monday and then speak it to the rest of your week.

Go see Red Tails…

For the past couple of weeks, the interwebs have been abuzz with talk about the movie, “Red Tails.” It’s a fictionalized story about the all-black regiment of fighter pilots, the Tuskegee Airmen, set in Italy in World War II. We get to meet a bunch of (fine ass) black men from different walks of life who were all a part of the “Tuskegee Experience” that wanted to test whether or not black men would be smart enough to be fighter pilots.

While I would just love to give you a history lesson, I would much rather you click this link and educate your damn selves. Personally, I interviewed a Tuskegee Airman so, I’m good. It’s a wonderful story in which all people need to be aware. I sincerely hope this movie will make people want to know more about it. Now, as for the movie and all these damn critics …

Dear Universe, you will never be able to satisfy an entire group of people. All men aren’t fans of the same thing nor are all men neither are all white people and definitely not all black people. “Red Tails” is no different. This movie has gotten a lot of attention because it is an all black cast and Mr. Star Wars, George Lucas, put up $100 million of his own money because he couldn’t get Hollywood to invest. That being said, black folks everywhere set out to prove Hollywood wrong and support this historic biopic. Problem is it wasn’t a biopic. Negroes flocked to the movie in droves expecting to see an Oscar-worthy film starring black men who were men of honor who were being snubbed by a system that sought to keep them down. They got an action movie.

I’m not sure if you are familiar with action movies but they aren’t famous for the dialogue, the sentiment or their maintenance of the integrity of whatever period they are highlighting. Action movies are known for action. Fights and explosions and shit like that. But because this one was financed by George Lucas and involved Cuba Gooding Jr. and Terrence Howard, black folks expected something major. *smh* Look, if you went to see Red Tails and went to learn the story of the Tuskegee Airmen and you were disappointed that you got an action movie, that’s your fault.

Nobody ever billed this movie to be anything more than an action film. But because it stars an abundance of black men we turned it into a demonstration against the racial injustice in the Hollywood establishment. We have to get over ourselves. We need to realize that more black quality films aren’t being made because we aren’t demanding them. Some of us continue to be pissed about movies like Red Tails yet they line up in droves for the latest in Tyler Perry’s never-ending story of the downtrodden black woman with the dark-skinned villains.

I have never in all my movie-watching days seen reviews more mixed for a movie than this one. Ever. “This was an awesome black film!” “That movie sucked! Don’t waste your money!” “I wish they would have done more.” “Why weren’t there any black women in the movie?” “He was with a white woman!” Blah. Blah. Blah. Blah! *smh* Some of y’all need to see this movie for what it was – entertainment. I looked at this movie the same as I would “Captain America,” “Superman,” or any other hero movie. The only difference here is there were actual Tuskegee Airmen.

Personally, I think “Red Tails” made strides in how black men are perceived in hero movies. Up until now we only had Will Smith, Denzel Washington, Cuba Gooding Jr. and Sam Jackson. Now, we’ve got an assload of black heroes for them to choose from. Let’s just support this movie for being what it is, the first all-black action flick since the blacksploitation period and keep it moving.

Let’s stop taking shit to higher and higher levels of foolishness and irrelevance by getting in our feelings. I need for y’all to come out of there and join the rest of us in the real world. This movie was made to see black men catapulted to the role of hero not to give black films relevance. That’s our job. You want to see more quality black films? Let’s support the ones we do have coming out and demand better of our own filmmakers. If nothing else, go see it for yourself and stop taking everyone else’s word for it.