Bruno is from Arkansas …

Before I launch into today’s post, I want to remind you all to tune into “Monday Musings with The Jaded Nyer and Friends.” Her guest hosts tonight are Malik from the blog “16’s Candles and yours truly. Tonight we will be discussing “The Good, The Bad, The More Colorful: A look at the Fall TV line-up. A great time will be had by all. Show up for the conversation, the chat room and pure-tee-foolishness. You know you want to join in on the shenanigans. Showtime is exactly 10 p.m. We don’t do CP time!


With this new season of shows, it of course, ushers in a new crop of “talent” for this year’s “Dancing With the Stars” competition. Just like in previous season, we’ve got our athletes, our actors, singers, reality stars and the obligatory old person.

While we’ve all picked our early favorites,  (I like Brandy to win, if she loosens up) one thing has not changed about the show and that is the panel of judges. I can appreciate that. *cough* Screw American Idol. *cough* On the panel, we get the typical reality competition show set up – the chick, the weird guy and the hard ass. Today, we’ll be addressing DWTS resident weirdo, Bruno Tonioli.

Bruno is a lil’ “different” to say the absolute least. He’s short. He’s loud. He’s Italian. And he’s gay. All of these things are obvious. What isn’t obvious is Bruno’s origin. This is the first in a series of reality show conspiracies posts. I don’t believe Bruno is a native of Italy. I, instead, conclude that Bruno is in fact an American. I believe that he is a native of some flat, rural, conservative state right here in the good ol’ U. S. of A. My money is on Kentucky or Kansas.

Go with me here, Bruno always goes just a lil’ bit too far with the things he tells contestants. He said something last week about taking home Kyle Massey of “That’s So Raven” and “Corey in the House” fame. O_o #toofar It was just reminiscent of the country men I know who go completely out of their way to exaggerate things and hit on you to the point of discomfort.

I’m waiting for the day when he drops his accent and launches into a tirade in a gay man’s country accent that shows us all how he spent his mornings before school milking cows and feeding chickens on the family farm or something. I think his name is really Buck Turner and he had a dream of becoming a ballroom dancer but he was bullied in high school. He got into some dance conservatory in Italy and won a few ballroom dancing titles and developed this character for this show.

No? That’s really him? *smh* *shrug* Oh well, he makes the show worth watching.

3 responses to “Bruno is from Arkansas …

  1. LOL! Never thought about that, but it makes me want to watch just to see if he slips up! Buck Turner. LMAO!

  2. wanna bet he had an incident in his teenage years with a bull that took offense to being ‘milked’ by him???

  3. You know I don’t do reality tv. Hell…i don’t do much tv unless the game is on. But I’ll tune in. Hopefully, y’all will be talkin bout the Jeffersons, Martin, Good Times, and A Different World. LOL

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