Ayo, Facebook!

*waves you over* Lemme holla at cha, for a minute. I’ve written you in to you the past trying to offer up some friendly criticism so that I don’t hire somebody to crash your server every day for the rest of my life. It seems that you have yet to take heed to my warnings, I mean, suggestions. What’s it gonna take for you to understand? Am I gonna have to send Full Force to beat you up every day ” … until Jay gets his money …”

I swear, Facebook. Before, you were effin’ with me with all those suggestions in the margin, now you’re using people’s status messages. That’s low. I’m pretty sure you know how misspelled words and the misuse of homophones get under my skin. If you refuse to screen these people to find out if they have “good enough diplomas” then I just might refuse to use your site.

Really, if you’re not going to screen them, add a spell check function or something. I have a better idea, why not add a spelling, syntax, subject/verb agreement app to your site? I mean, there needs to be something to balance out that Farmville, Pet Shop, Random Shit apps that are clogging up my news feed. And while we’re on that subject, can you please disable that silly shit? I grew up around farms and farm animals, the shit wasn’t supposed to be fun. It’s work.

While I’m asking, is it possible for me to trouble you with a word app that allows for you to plug in homemade words and have them accepted or kicked out for sheer foolishness? The reason I’m asking is I have a cousin that I am trying to have voted out the family for using the word “swaggerful” in his status message. Had this app existed, I may not have called a tribunal to have his branch extracted from the family tree.

Look, Facebook, either you shape up or I will personally launch a campaign to have you go the way of MySpace AND BlackPlanet. Dig?

- Smarty