Hip Hop & Other -ish for Femcees Seminar & Workshop

On Monday night, a few dozen of my closest (Twitter) friends and I tuned into BET for the documentary “My Mic Sounds Nice: A Truth About Women In Hip Hop.” I must admit, I was pleasantly surprised with BET’s depiction of women in Hip Hop. I know I give the cable channel a hard way to go, but you must give credit where credit is due.

The filmmaker Ava DuVernay and other producers managed to find and talk to some of my favorite femcees including MC Lyte, Eve, Missy Elliot , Rah Digga and a whole lotta others who have been forgotten and cast aside. With all the exposure being given (without merit) to rappers (not MCs) like Nikki Minaj and all these other chicks who can manage to string together a sequence of rhyming words, it seems women in hip hop went missing a long time ago.

Fret not, I, Smarty P. Jones, with the boost from one @mzinspiredmind have decided to create the “Hip Hop & Other -ish for Femcees Seminar & Workshop.” This is the place where we would send all these lackluster female emcees who act like they are the second coming of the femcee just because they are female and somebody likes their music on Myspace. I have come up with a list of sessions and descriptions with ideal instructors. We would ask participants to submit a demo and then recommend a list of sessions. Herrrrrrrrrrre we go …

Beginner

Rhyming for Beginners
This session is geared toward ladies who haven’t yet grasped the concept of long complicated rhyming patterns. Ladies will learn how to craft a hot 16 with consecutive rhyming lines as displayed by session leader Yolanda “YoYo” Whitaker in her first single as seen here.

Timing & Delivery
This session is designed for ladies who have grasped basic rhyming concepts but have not yet grasped the importance of well-placed lines. Session leader Rashia “Rah Digga” Fisher will discuss the art of strategically placing punchlines, snark and kickassness as displayed here.

Metaphors are friends
Designed for ladies who have mastered basic rhyming concepts, this session, led by Jean Grae, will explore ways of saying things poetically. Potential emcees will learn what a metaphor is and why it is important to paint lyrical pictures as displayed here.

Truth in lyrics
Potential emcees will learn how to tell their own truths and the truths of their audience through their lyrics. This session, led by Lauryn Hill, will explore how and why it is important to expose oneself to tell your truth and how it translates to the audience, as witnessed here.

Message in the music
This session is geared toward ladies who have mastered basic rhyming skills as well as timing and delivery. Potential emcees will learn how hip hop can be used as a tool to educate the masses about their history and about world problems as displayed here and here by session leader Dana “Queen Latifah” Owens.

Intermediate

The Art of Storytelling
For the ladies who have mastered basic rhyming, timing and delivery, metaphors, truth-telling and finding the message in the music, session leader and G.O.A.T. femcee, Lana “MC Lyte” Moorer, will discuss storytelling and why it is imperative to an emcee as shown here and here. This session is mandatory for everyone attending the workshop.

Sexy vs. Slutty
For ladies who are in the process of forming their identity, the ladies of Salt N Pepa, Cheryl “Salt” James and Sandi “Pepa” Denton, will explore the differences in sexy and slutty and why one is unnecessary and out of place in hip hop. The ladies will show how they maintained a career for a decade without crossing the sexy line into slutty-ville as displayed here and here

Stay in your lane
Once ladies have formed their identity – sexy, hood, slutty or weird – it is important that they remain true to themselves and maintain that integrity in their work. Session leader Missy “Misdemeanor” Elliot will explain how she has managed to be herself and maintain her fan base as shown here and here.

Evolution & Relevance
In the event that the ladies haven’t quit after recognizing the amount of hard work that goes into being a femcee, session leader Eve Jeffers will discuss how to evolve and remain relevant in the ever-changing landscape of hip hop. After jumping on the scene in 1999 with this smash, she has managed to step in on features and singles before she is forgotten about to reinforce her relevance, like so.

Longevity – A Panel Discussion
MC Lyte and Queen Latifah come back to teach and answer questions about staying power in hip hop.

Sessions that didn’t make it:

History of Femcees – Dr. Roxanne Shante
Femcee beef & other pointless shit – Lil’ Kim and Foxy Brown
Brand building and (over)exposure – Trina
Femcees & the justice system – Da Brat and Remy Ma
I’ve peaked, now what? – Lauryn Hill

Sessions are filling up quickly. Don’t walk, run to mail in your registration. Registration fees have been waived for Nikki Minaj, Lil’ Mama and a host of others. Do you know any other femcees who need scholarships or fee waivers?