Friends don’t let friends … #womanlaw

Welcome to the latest installment of #womanlaw. You’ve already heard from @f_uitlist @ReinaSong and the ever so controversial @BangsandaBun. Next week will be The Jaded Nyer’s turn. But next up? “Yo, I believe that’s me, Smarty Jones is on the mic for this symphony …”

Ladies, our girls are our everything. They’re our courage. Our support. The source of our happiness (sometimes our aggravation). And in a lot of cases, they are litmus test for the things we’re not sure about. With all that said, why in the name of Jesus, Joseph, Mary, Mary Magdalene, all the Apostles and the woman at the well would you allow your girl to leave her house (or anyone’s) in something she has NO business wearing?

Far be it from me to be giving anyone advice on what they should or shouldn’t wear, but some of you heffas is gettin’ outta hand. Yes, you read that right. I did use “is” and not “are,” things are so drastic, I have to start speaking in “dumbass-ese” to you ratchet heffas.

Exhibit A


I could “go in” on this photo and talk about the lady in this unfortunate mess of an outfit, but the source of my pisstivity is the chick in the upper left hand corner of the photo grinning like she just got a visit from the team at Publisher’s Clearing House. I’m guessing these women are friends. I’m guessing at some point, these two spoke about this event in advance and probably discussed what they were going to wear. I’m just guessing.

I’m gonna go out on a limb and say that the laughing chick probably knew about her friend’s intent to wear this mess to that club and decided that it would be funny to watch people’s reaction. Methinks her laughter has nothing to do with what she’s being told. Could it be perhaps the flash from the camera and the subsequent laughter that has that barefoot fool “snigglin’ and gigglin’?”

I mean, if you have friends who don’t try to check you before you wear something that is too revealing, too trashy, too -anything that’ll have your fashionably inept ass on the pages of Hot Ghetto Mess, then you need new friends, a reality check and a hug. The only thing worse than having friends who won’t check you is when there is a group of heffas dressed like that. If they are each other friends and they’re all dressed similarly, where are the damn checks and balances?

Exhibit B

We need to do better

Y’all know these chicks need somebody telling them NOT to leave home like this. Where is the decency? The compassion? The shame? You should love your girls enough to not have them walking the streets of their respective towns and cities to get laughed at and ridiculed all because you think it’s funny or don’t have enough regard for her feelings.

Friends don’t let friends wear junk. The next time you see a big girl in clothes that are too little, don’t talk about her, talk about the people in her core group because she ain’t got no friends. Whether your girl curses you out or feels hurt that you don’t like her outfit, it is your duty to bring that heffa back to reality and if necessary, SHOW her what’s wrong. Go shopping with her.

I’m trying to save friendships, here. And ladies, if you realize your girls have left you hanging like this *hugs* it’s gon’ be alright. You need to find some real friends and remember these simple, yet profound words courtesy of Mama Smarty: “Baby, cause they make that shit in yo’ size don’t mean you got to wear it.”

14 responses to “Friends don’t let friends … #womanlaw

  1. How’d you get that picture of me at the party w/out me seeing you??? lol

  2. *bravo*
    iDied at the first picture. Obviously, the saying “less is more” doesn’t apply to the ‘lady’ wearing that piece of string.
    Have I work things that were too tight for me? Sure! Did I know they were too tight? Of course but I still wore them anyway. But at some point, the earlier the better, I learned that everything is not for me. I take caution when I wear short skirts because of the size of my rump. They will have me looking like a slore in no time.
    As Smarty said: ladies, please advise your lady friends before going out. Brutal honesty is recommended in real friendships.

  3. BigFashionista

    TOTALLY agree, if I tell a friend to “get that outfit off her back so I can burn it” she knows damn well that if I say she looks great the next time she asks, she can walk down the street with her head held high because i always tell the truth

  4. I would hope that my friends would bitchslap me if I wore anything like the exhibits… Ermmm…

    *runs off to check photos on facebook*

  5. *waves* – per my Jerry MacGuire foot in the door, other foot out, because a group of women is talking…

    These things are pretty obvious, but I think that most men want to see women tell other women something that we’ve been trying to tell you for years. What you put on your body garners a certain of attention. If you friend complains that men are constantly staring at her breasts, tell her it’s because she wore a tube top with 34DDs. If you saw her butt cheek when she was getting the cab, please tell her to go put on something else that doesn’t ride up. If she asks you if her dress is see-thru, let her know that you should never have to ask that question.

    In other news, I think that women know exactly what type of attention they will garner and if that’s the case then I mean…

    • Smarty P. Jones

      You’re right, sir. A lot of ladies, and I too have been guilty of this, draw attention to their *cough* assets to make sure you all see them.
      Now, I could go further but that would turn into another debate. But that is another story for another time.

  6. My friends know better than to come at me looking crazy. I’ve been know to igg people wearing flip flops so can you imagine? PLEASE

    I’m all for letting folks know that this is not made for you, and I would hope they did the same for me if for some reason I bumped my head and started dressing sloppy.

  7. Chile, you could not have said it better. I can’t stop laughing at the buffoonery in those pictures!

    I’m speechless…lol.

  8. according to the evidence provided in the first pic, the US Govt isn’t responsible for the 8o’s crack epidemic….Bojangle’s was
    (and I luhs some Bojangle’s but they’re DEAD WRONG for this)

  9. You, ma’am, are so wrong for this. How you gon’ post a pic with a young lady (?) who possesses a moustache thicker than mine? HILARIOUS POST, Smarty. BTW, this is the first time I’ve visited your joint, but it won’t be last. You’re going onto the blogroll.

  10. These pics put my digestive system in trauma.

    *searches for bleach to put in eyes*

  11. I must refer to Snoop Dogg. Chicks that don’t address their “friends” poor clothing choices, “ain’t nothin’ but hoes and tricks.” It is really just plain wrong. Super funny post, but the issue is definitely legit!

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