Monthly Archives: March 2010

Characters after … The Cosby Show

Posted on March 30, 2010 | 6 Comments

In celebration of my vacation this week and the art of just being imaginative, I have decided to give you all my version of how the lives of some of our favorite characters turned out after the shows ended.
First up, “The Cosby Show.” The original, not the CBS knock off where they only had one kid. I didn’t like that one. Anyway, herrrrrrrrrre we go!

Cliff & Claire Huxtable
Cliff retired after a mild heart attack from his poor diet and lack of exercise. He now spends his days playing chess in Central Park, feeding the ducks, putting together puzzles, volunteering and watching “Old Yeller” and Colt Kirby movies.
Claire is a partner in her own law firm. She spends most of her time mentoring young associates and taking on cases pro bono for people who need help.
When she’s not working, she spends her time feeding ducks with her husband, traveling and volunteering.

Sondra and Elvin Tibideaux
Elvin specialized in cardiology and was playing golf with Cliff when he had his heart attack. He joined a cardiology practice with a few med school friends and now has more time to spend with his family.
Sondra is a partner in her mom’s law firm of Huxtable, Tibideaux and Associates. She handles mostly corporate law and is on her way to becoming a judge.
Their twins Winnie & Nelson each attended an Ivy League School. Nelson left school to pursue a dance career on Broadway. Winnie is enrolled in graduate school to pursue her dream of becoming a college professor.
They had another son, Malcolm, who is a certified genius who refuses to apply himself.

Denise & Martin Kendall
Denise is a special education teacher, specializing in children with autism. She’s published several case studies related to diet and links to autism.
Martin retired from the Navy and is now teaching ROTC at a midwestern university where Denise is enrolled and working on her PhD.
Martin & Denise had two sons together in addition to Olivia. The boys, Syrus and Merlin, were born one year apart. They run track at Hillman, just like their mom and grandfather as the third and anchor legs of the 4 x 100 and 4 x 200 relay races.
Olivia attended college in California to be in a better position to pursue her dream of becoming an actress. She’s appeared in several small roles on TV shows.

Theo & Cheryl Huxtable
Theo married the Jamaican woman he met his last semester at NYU.
Theo started a non-profit organization for at-risk boys with learning disabilities and instituted his father’s seminar on manhood. He spends most of his time traveling between NYC and Kingston, where his wife’s family resides.
Cheryl is a high school math teacher, the two have one daughter, Mackenzie Claire.

Vanessa & Dabnus Brickey
Much to the family’s relief, the two finally eloped in Atlantic City after years of an on-again, off-again engagement. Vanessa is the head of Human Resources at the university where the two  met. Dabnus is still the head of maintenance and also owns a small business of handymen for hire. They don’t have any children because Vanessa is unsure of when they should have them.

Rudy and Kenny Huxtable (LoL!)
They realized in their senior year at Hilman that they have been in love with each other for years. They were the only couple of Cosby kids to have a traditional wedding. Kenny’s phantom brother was his best man. During her vows, Rudy promised “take thee Bud” as her lawfully wedded husband. The two live in Brooklyn, just blocks away from her parents. She is a stock broker on Wall Street, while Kenny is an assistant middle school principal. They don’t have any children.

Pam Tucker
After high school graduation, Pam joined her mother and grandmother in California where she attended design school to be a fashion designer.
While doing an internship in an upscale boutique, she was able to calm a Hollywood prima donna and put together several trendy, cutting edge outfits and became a stylist to the stars.
She is dating but has not yet settled down.
OK, y’all, who’d I miss?

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Posted in foolishness, Random, random thoughts, rants

Blogger Etiquette & (over)Active Imagination

Posted on March 29, 2010 | 4 Comments

Good day and welcome to the finer points of blogger etiquette. For the past month, The Jaded Nyer, The F$%k It List and I have been sharing with you all the finer points of blogger etiquette. So far, you’ve learned not to swagger jack, you’ve learned to leave relevant comments, you know NOT to ask anyone, especially The Jaded Nyer, to guest blog and now know that blog beef is just STUPIT! This brings us to today’s point, keep your post comments to a minimum, please and thank you.
As a blogger, nothing brightens up a dull work day like the e-mail that I’ve got a new comment on my blog post. The one thing that dampens that is when I go to my blog and see that the comment in question is as long or longer than the post. I’m certainly not immune to leaving a long comment, I’ve done it before, but I realize that no one goes to somebody else’s blog to see ME ramble on about this person’s subject matter.
If what I have to say is so damn profound, I need to send the blogger a message, because there’s no swagger jacking, and levy my own opinion on the matter. A good rule of thumb is your comment shouldn’t be longer than three Tweets. One Tweet is 140 characters, so three Tweets is 420 characters. If four characters equal a word, you have 105 words. If you use big words, *shrug* oh well.
Stop going to other people’s blogs to grandstand and show them up. It’s rude. It’s not cute and the Social Media Mafia frowns upon that. :(
This message has been brought to you by:

(Over) Active imagination
So, last week, the Twitter homie, Kwamster gave me an excellent idea to explore what we think happened to the characters from our favorite shows. I’ll begin tomorrow with “The Cosby Show.” Wednesday will be “A Different World” and I think I’m gonna double up on “Martin” and “Living Single” on Thursday.
Buckle up, my imagination is awesome!

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Posted in #pleasedontkillme, foolishness, hmmm, insanity, Random, random thoughts, rants

Southern Fried Vocab No. 16

Posted on March 26, 2010 | 4 Comments

Greetings! I hope you’ve all had a great week. Merry few days before vacation! :-D Welcome to the 16th edition of Southern Fried Vocab. Just in case you missed last week’s phrase, have a click here to see. If you haven’t been, I’ll know when I ask you because a hit dog will holler – every time.
If you’re unfamiliar with the rules, they go a lil’ something like this. You will be given a vocabulary word or phrase, a definition and a sentence. You are hereby challenged to go forth and use it in conversation.
Though you may not see a logical place to insert these words into conversation, everything is always better when you cover it in flour and drop it in some hot grease.
This week’s word is directly.


The sand will run to the bottom directly.

Definition
Directly: after a while; soon; in a little bit

Example
A family is taking a long car trip to the beach.
Child: Are we there yet?
Mom: No.
Child: When will we be there?
Mom: Directly.

Quick Review
In Southern homes, directly can be anywhere from 15 minutes to an hour. It closer to the hour than the 15 minutes. Just be sure that you are indeed ready for whatever is coming directly.
Questions?

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Posted in foolishness, Random, random thoughts, rants, Vocab

This just in …

Posted on March 25, 2010 | 3 Comments

So, it’s not JUST in, but some New Jersey shoppers got more than just low prices while on their way to pick up cereal, pantyhose and DVDs. A jackass came on the PA system to tell all the black shoppers to leave the store.

This should be a horror movie villian

*blank face*
I think that’s the ONE think I’ve never gotten in a damn Wal-Mart. I’ve gotten groceries. Pajamas. Socks. DVDs. Office supplies. Oil changes. Tires. Curtains. Light bulbs. Copies of keys. But I ain’t never in ALL my put together gotten racism from Wal-Mart. But, when you think about it, it was only a matter of time.
Wal-Mart is the only place you can go to and hear no less than 10 languages. Even down here in PoDunk, NC, I can go into any Wal-Mart and hear English, Spanish, Mandarin, Vietnamese, French, whatever Indian people speak and a combination of them all. So I’m sure there was a combination of all of that and then some in the New Jersey store. Shoooo, with all those races and nationalities, it was only a matter of time that Wal-Mart would offer racism in addition to everything else in that story that NOBODY needs!
So, the NY Daily News reported that a 16-year-old kid has been arrested for harassment and bias intimidation. According to the news story, the announcement was “Attention, Wal-Mart customers: All black people, leave the store now.” Never mind the kid, what the hell was the point? I just got a horrific picture of people leaving the store and somebody opening fire on them.
In what world are people just taking over the damn PA system to make random announcements? Was the kid an employee? Did somebody give him the phone to make the announcement? Was this planned? Somebody HAS to have some answers. They must have something in place to keep people from just picking up the phones for foolishness.
I want to know what was done. I’m pretty sure those managers got an earful, but I want to know how many church groups picketed that place. Where was Al Sharpton when all this was going on? You tryna tell me that he wasn’t upset about something like this? We should be seeing his perm all over the news talking about this incident.
And Wal-Mart, yes you issued an apology, but what have you done to make it right with those customers? I’m not saying they should get paid or anything, but really, what the hell kinda apology could you offer to make this right? I’m glad they got to the bottom of it, but I’ll bet it put a frown on the face of that happy, yellow-ass dot. Sorry, Wally World, even YOU can’t “roll back” the racism. #epicfail

Sidenote: The best thing about Wal-Mart, this site. I caution you to not eat or drink anything while looking at it though. It will end up all over your screen. Enjoy!

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Posted in #hellbound, foolishness, hmmm, insanity, Random, random thoughts, rants

What’s in a name?

Posted on March 24, 2010 | 8 Comments


So, the whole country all abuzz with talks of the 2010 Census. “Make sure you’re counted!” “Do it for the kids.” “This will get us help in the community!” “Stand up, be counted!”
Hey, I’m all for that. I’d like a rough estimate of just how many folks we have. This country. What I don’t want is the break down into the little groups and sub-categories that folks like to put us in. I just don’t see why it’s necessary.
For example, the Census asks you things like your age, your ethnicity and all of that. While I’m sure somewhere, some goofy person would like to know how all this breaks down and just how “the Latinos are takin’ over,” these numbers will be used to further divide our country and create gaps, both ethnically and racially.
Don’t believe me, wait until next year when the numbers are tabulated, racists and conservatives alike will use these numbers to point to why we need to close the countries borders. Ethnic advocacy groups will use them to show how many minorities are not in positions equal to their counterparts. Statisticians will use the numbers for whatever the hell they use them for and so will every other group.
I fully understand that the ages on these forms are needed to make future plans and that generations have to be lumped together to plan for things like schools and community centers and unfortunately jails.
The stats that make no sense to me are the ones breaking everything down racially. While I do support affirmative action to a certain degree, I don’t think anyone should be entitled to anything because they are a certain race. These numbers create situations where corporations and businesses feel a need to fill a quota as opposed to hiring the right person for the job. Having a more diverse work environment should be done because it is right, not because it’s forced.

Photo courtesy of Eb the Celeb

I think the race questions on the form are being used to see us further and further a part or to outright cause outrage. For example, the box for black folks is labeled “African American, Black, Negro.” *blank face* The hell? We ain’t been Negroes since before Dr. King was assassinated, now the U.S. Census says we gotta go back?
Then for Latinos, it’s marked “Hispanic” and gives another series of boxes for them to make specific origin. I don’t see any places that list “Nigerian American” or “Scottish American.” So what’s the purpose of trying to (further) split the Latino brethren? I mean, don’t the Puerto Ricans and Dominicans hat each other enough? And it seems that NObody likes Mexicans. You wanna further divide a group of folks already divided?
What next? Will the Census start asking people to put down their gang affiliations? Will Crips, Bloods and Latin Kings be asked to specify their set ? I mean damn, this just seems like it’s going to be used to the detriment of the immigrants from the most repped country.
Can we just get a frikkin’ box marked “American?” Those folks who were born here, have dual citizenship or became naturalized will just check that box and be done with it. I don’t want to be sub-grouped. But, I guess people in Hell want ice water, but that ain’t gonna happen either.

PSA: For the record, I did fill out my form and I sent it in. Regardless of how I feel, I owe it to the kids in my community to get them all that’s coming to them – even the lil’ evil kid in the next building over. #meanbastid

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Posted in #hellbound, foolishness, hmmm, insanity, Random, random thoughts, rants