Lil’ Wang sentence TBD

Warning!!!! There will be at least one picture of Dwayne “Lil’ Wayne” Carter below. Take your Rolaids, Tums, drink some pink stuff. Whatever you need to do to settle your stomach, do that now. I’ll wait …

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So, today, Lil’ Wang’s sentencing for possession of a firearm was delayed until March 1. He’s expected to serve a year for a 2007 incident of attempted weapons possession. His lawyer had his sentence postponed because he’s “suffering from a cracked tooth.” *side eye*
Wayne’s delay isn’t guaranteed, but the prosecution agreed that he would get better care from his own dentist than from the dentist at Riker’s. Apparently he has to have surgery to repair that tooth and his lawyer offered to have him turn himself in but the judge gave him until March 2.
The delay came after the rap phenom *gags self* spent weeks recording new music for his upcoming album “The Carter 13″ (The Carter IV) and a weekend shooting an unprecedented nine music videos. Dayum, Weezy! A work ethic like that almost makes me not want to make fun of this flonkin’ story – almost.
First off, a cracked tooth? How in hell do you crack a tooth, especially one that has been dipped in platinum? How? Was he chewing on popcorn kernels or what? I mean, I know his grill looks like he’s been chewing on rocks, but was he really? I gotta wonder.
And as for getting better dental care from his own dentist, well, duh! Of course his jeweler slash dentist will give him better care. I’m gonna go out on a limb and assume that the dental staff at Riker’s doesn’t often care for platinum dipped teeth. Will they have enough mint flavored jewelry cleaner to keep his mouth clean while he’s there?
If that’s not enough, there’s a trending topic on Twitter #freeweezy. *sigh* *rolls eyes* *smdh* Free Weezy? Free Weezy?! So we should just free all the mofos with money who break the law? Free Phil Spector! Free all the crooked ass execs who ran off with people’s money. If we’re gonna start that, why not free all people who break crimes?
Weezy’s not dangerous you say? I nearly kill myself trying to cover my eyes every time his picture flashes across the screen. I’m pretty sure the sight of him scares little children. Can’t he be arrested for inciting a riot or something?
And let’s be honest, all this was staged to reinstate his dearly departed street cred. While Wayne is what’s hot in the streets, his street cred no longer exists. Why, you ask. This man has a college degree. Yes, kids, your beloved gangsta rapper Lil’ Wang holds a bachelor’s in psychology.
I’m not sure why, but one’s street cred dissipates once you set foot on a college campus because in theory, you are leaving the streets behind to focus on a life outside of that. For some strange reason, if you leave a bad neighborhood and go to college and start a career, every time you go back home, the folks feel like you’re going back to look down on them.
This could prove detrimental to Lil’ Wang because he needs his people to believe that he lives the life he raps about. He has to perpetrate this fraud so people will buy his albums and he’ll have money to keep buying cough syrup with codeine to mix up his “sizzurp.”
What is worse than a gangsta rapper with NO street cred? I don’t know of anything. Ya’ll?
The rap gods, Biggie and 2Pac, are not pleased. Get it together, Weezy. Get it together.