Under normal circumstances, I’m not an Apple fan. iHate iMacs, iPhones, iHaven’t seen the iPad yet, but I’m pretty sure iHate it.
The only thing Apple has made that I love and will love until the day after forever is my iPod Classic. That sucker has 160 GB and I have used about 35 to 40 GB already and I’m still adding more music.
With so much space, my love affair with all kinds of music and an ass load of CDs and mp3s I’ve acquired over the years, there were bound to be some songs in there that I’m ashamed to tell people I listen to, know or let alone own.
In my attempt to tear down my “emotional walls” and “open myself up” to people, I’ve decided to put myself on front street and share with you some of my iPod shame.
I only ask that you people don’t judge me. You can laugh. You can point, but you BET NOT do both, dig?
In no particular order of significance, here are some of the songs I’m embarrassed to have on my iPod.
1. “Red Neck Woman” by Gretchen Wilson
I am no redneck, but I can relate to the majority of this song. I think a lot of women of color born and bred in the South can relate to it.
I’m embarrassed because people look at me like I’ve got a second head growing out of my neck when I sing it and I can see why. I mean, what does my black butt know about being a redneck woman?
2. “Knuck If You Buck” by Crime Mob
*sigh* I’m not even sure WTF knucking and bucking is. Best I can tell is they are talking about fighting.
I’ve always said that nobody should be singing any song they don’t know WTH it’s about. *hangs head* I violate that every time I jump up and join in saying, “Now we knuckin’ and buckin’ and ready to fight …”
3. “I Like Dem Hoes by Lil’ Jon and the Eastside Boys
This is probably the most degrading song on record. The first line is “I like dem hoes wit’ dem golds in they mouf. That be dem hoes from the mothereffin’ souf!”
*sigh* I have no excuse. I don’t. All I can say is I like the beat and the raspiness of Lil’ Jon’s voice reminds me of my daddy. *smh*
4. “Goodbye Earl” by The Dixie Chicks
I’ve loved this song since high school. I mean, you gotta love a song where a wife batterer dies, gets wrapped in a tarp, stuffed in a trunk and thrown in a lake.
The Dixie Chicks are awesome, but this song …
5. “Pictures” by Kid Rock and Sheryl Crow
*smh* See … OK. I like Sheryl Crow and Kid Rock. But I know, they know and everyone else knows they have no reason to ever sing together, EVER. EVER!
I didn’t want to like it, but in the karaoke bars, when I used to drink, the drunk couples used to sing it to each other and it was funny. It’s there for the memories, OK?
6. “Candy Licker” by Marvin Sease
This is what we call “liquor house” music in the South. Liquor house music is just what it sounds like. It’s blues music you hear at a liquor house, a hole in the wall, a juke joint if you will. Don’t get it twisted, these places do still exist.
We’ve been listening to this song for as long as I can remember. If you don’t know what a Candy Licker is, I suggest you click here and listen to the words of this song. *smh* *hangs head in shame* Just …
7. “Cheaper to Keep Her” by Johnny Taylor
*snickers* This, too, is liquor house music. Have you ever listened to the words of this song? Hilarity! I’m embarrassed because, well, I shouldn’t condone this behavior.
“You didn’t pay be $2 to bring the lil’ girl home. Now you ’bout to pay $2,000 to leave her alone …”
Bwahahahahaha!
8. “Don’t Mess With My Toot Toot” by Denise LaSalle
*giggles* More music from the Liquor House playlist, this song is catchy as all hell.
First of all, when you hear this song come on, it makes you smile. It sounds like it was recorded on the inside of a soda can. Then you hear the hook, “Don’t mess with my Toot Toot, don’t mess with my toot toot, I know you’ve got another woman, so don’t mess with my Toot Toot …”
Bwahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!
9. “Rock Star” by Nickleback
I think I’m embarassed that I know the words to this song. It’s catchy, too and all people can relate to it.
The only thing is, I know more people who don’t like Nickleback than those who do.
My only explanation is I dare to be different and “heyyyyy, heyyyy, I wanna be a rock star!”
10. “Smooth Criminal” by Alien Ant Farm
See, this is on my “Nobody BET NOT EHVAH Remake This” list, but strangely, I like their rendition. I can’t say I like anything else by Alien Ant Farm, but, I’m sorta embarrassed that I have it.
Not-so-honorable mentions include “Scarred” by Uncle Luke, “Kitty Kitty” by the 69 Boys, “Rodeo” by the 95 South, “I Missed the Bus” by Kriss Kross and “Laffy Taffy” by D4L.
Now you know some of my shame. What’s some of yours?
