Monthly Archives: January 2010

Southern Fried Vocab Nos. 6, 7 and 8

Posted on January 29, 2010 | 6 Comments

Well, hello all. Since we missed last week and the week before, I felt it was only right for me to give you three words today so that we could all catch up. In case you missed the word on Jan. 8, no worries, mon, check it out here.
In case you’ve forgotten the rules, they go a lil’ something like this. You will be given a vocabulary word or phrase, a definition and a sentence. You are hereby challenged to go forth and use it in conversation.
Though you may not see a logical place to insert these words into conversation, everything is always better when you cover it in flour and drop it in some hot grease!

The words of the week are plum, pertnear and wallago.

Definitions

Plum: having all the required or customary characteristics, skills, or the like; consummate; perfect in kind or quality. See also complete(ly)

Pertnear: very nearly; all but. See also almost

Wallago: a while ago

Example
Mother to child: You ’bout through with them dishes?!
Child to mother: Pertnear but not plum.
Mother to child: Well, why not?! I told you wallago to hurry up so I can get dinner on!

In the country, washing dishes and taking a bath can happen at the same time.

Quick Review
In the south, plum is NOT a fruit, it is an adjective. If you can’t tell, pertnear comes from the term “pretty near” and wallago is simply a few words joined together to make one. Questions?

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Posted in random thoughts, rants, Vocab

The state of the union is …

Posted on January 28, 2010 | 3 Comments

Last night, President Barack Obama (POTUS) stood before the Congress and the entire country to give his first “State of the Union” address. The POTUS usually delivers this speech annually to update the American people on what he’s been doing and what he wants to do in the coming year(s).
In last night’s speech, Obama said, “despite out hardships, our union is strong.” I can agree to that. I agree that Americans are strongly united on the fact that we need some overhaul. We need jobs. We need health care. We need education. We need less talk and more action. Nobody is disputing the fact that he’s an awesome speaker, I can even say that he is ministerial. Right now, we don’t need a preacher, we need a dude who is going to step up and be the leader we elected him to be.
He’s been in this job a year, he’s gotten acclimated and he knows what he has to do. Now it’s time for him to step up and do it. He made the first step of calling for a jobs bill. That’s awesome. Now I don’t want him to just “call” for it, I want to see and hear about him lighting a fire under the asses of the reps and Senators to get people back to work.
POTUS said, “the worst of the storm has passed” and I hope he’s right. Americans are made of strong stock but we can only take so much. There are more people unemployed right now than there has ever been in the history of our country. I’m looking forward to what is in the bill and their ideas on how to double the amount of goods we are exporting. Personally, I think that we need to figure out how to get more Americans to buy our own goods and we can stop sending so much of our money to China and Taiwan and Japan and all these different countries who make the goods we can’t seem to get enough of.
I wish he would have spent more time talking about health care. He issued a challenge to both Dems and Republicans to come up with solutions to find some sort of common ground for what to do about reform. “If anyone from either party has a better approach … let me know.”
I wish they’d do it soon, while Congress is sitting on their asses with access to outstanding health care trying to “figure out” a decent approach, millions of Americans are going without the necessary care and medications needed to sustain their lives. As a diabetic WITH hypertension, I don’t know where I’d be if it wasn’t for the health insurance I have through my job.
I’m sick of people “talking” about the American people getting adequate health care. I need for them to start doing what is necessary to get it. Talk to the leadership in places like Canada and the UK to find out what works for them. It is tragic that the U.S. prides itself on being the richest country in the world, yet the citizens are treated like we’re the poorest.
Let’s go POTUS, work to get us some of things you promised in your campaign. Use that damn VETO stamp. Let them know you mean business. We’re all still here, waiting for change. Bring it to us.

**I’m not even going to address the “I forgot he was black” bullshit that came flying out of MSNBC’s Chris Matthews’ mouth. WTF did that have to do with the State of the Union?**

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Posted in Barack Obama, CNN, Elections, GOP, Obama, optimism, politics, rants

Say what, now?

Posted on January 26, 2010 | 2 Comments

In case you didn’t hear, Gary Coleman got arrested for domestic violence.

"Whachu tom bout, judge?"

Bwahahahahahaha! *deep breath* OK, OK. Bwahahahahahahahaha!
According to this story in the Salt Lake City Examiner, he was arrested for an incident that occurred on an unknown date. His bail has been set at $1,725.
I don’t know what happened, but, in these cases, they tend to arrest the aggressor. I want to know what he did. Like, was he biting at her knee caps or what? Let’s face it, Arnold Drummond is short, real short. Like, I think he has to take a running start at curbs. And she is taller than him.


I know height has nothing to do with it, I’m just wondering how he got so aggressive that she had to call the police. She can literally palm his forehead and let him swing until he gets tired. Bwahahahahahaha! OMG, whew, that’s funny. Add to that the fact that he’s sickly. And she got locked up for domestic violence back in July for locking him out of the house after an argument. Coleman is 41, his wife 23. They married in 2008 after dating for five months.

Andy Dick got arrested in West Virginia for felony sexual abuse.


LMAO! That picture is worth 10K words. Too bad it’s not the mug that goes with this arrest. In this story, Fox News (gag) is reporting that he grabbed the genital areas of two “people” at a comedy club in Huntingdon. *giggle*
Who in the hell believes he grabbed at the genitalia of two women? We all know these were some dudes, right? Apparently, these are some dudes who are eventually going to sue because they filed the report and pressed some charges. If Dick was a regular dude, he would have just gotten beat up in the parking lot. Pssh! And why is he grabbing at people’s “danger zones” anyway? Does he not have his own to play with? *smh*

Remember Susan Smith?

This is the mom from South Carolina who killed her kids and said a black man car jacked her and took her kids?
This bitch:
She wants a new trial. He says that her attorney didn’t adequately present her 15 years ago and that the trial was unfair. *gasp* No! You don’t think they’d send her to jail because confessed to killing her children, would they?! *shocked face*
Give me a frikkin break! What kinda crap is that?! You confess and then you say your trial was unfair? Heffa you told the police you killed your kids. The hell you expect?! It’s a lil’ late to be tryna prove insanity witcha crazy ass. I tell you what, give her a new trial – with a black judge, a black public defender and six black jurors. Then let’s see how fair her trial is. *smh*

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Posted in #hellbound, celebrity foolishness, foolishness, hmmm, insanity, Random, random thoughts, rants

Love That Girl!

Posted on January 21, 2010 | 3 Comments

Well, not exactly. I don’t hate it, but I don’t love it either.
A few days ago, I told you guys about a new scripted program starring Tatyana Ali and Phil Morris coming to TV One for four episodes.
Well, I’ve seen three of four and I have to say, I’m not impressed. Other than Ali and Morris’s characters the rest of them are caricatures. Unfunny caricatures at that.
I have to say, the first episode was hella annoying because they didn’t exactly have their timing down. As I saw more shows though, they started to gel as a group. A group of idiots, but a group nonetheless.
Case in point, the show began with her coming home to what she thought was an empty apartment to find her brother who had broken in after he was thrown out of the place he shared with a phantom girlfriend.
He’s an out of work “up and coming” comedian who you never see do a minute of stand up. In all four episodes, he only made me chuckle once and that was when he said, “I just killed myself, in my mind.” I plan to keep it. He comes off as just annoying. He irritates the shit out of me as a viewer.
Ali’s neighbors are a gay couple who are just walking cliches. Can I just say that they are far too feminine to be a couple. They could be best friends, no problem, but I have never in all my gay friendships seen two fem dudes in one relationship. It just doesn’t happen.
Add to that the fact that they are constantly flirting in front of each other, with Ali’s brother. In the first episode, one of them got pissed, then their jealousy went missing. And they are over-freaking exaggerated. Both of these guys are gayer than Christmas. I mean gayer than tinsel, shiny boas, blinking lights and metallic balls. Just Gay McGayertons for no damn reason.
If that’s not enough, her father’s secretary, a temp, is more ghetto than three Keyshia Coles, 12 Nene Leakeses and a Flavor Flav. This chick was loud, rude and wears a rainbow of extensions in a real estate firm. The running joke is she’s a temp so nobody should get used to her. I just can’t with her and the lack of professionalism.
And her best friend Nefertiti owns a salon that one of the gay guys works in. She too is ghetto as all hell. It’s her whole … she is just damn ghetto.
Let’s add to this the fact that the plot lines are anything but fleshed out. I don’t blame the actors, I blame the writers. I’m not sure what the hell they’re going for exactly. I think they’ve got a great foundation to start with, but as a writer, I want more. I need back story. I need them to continue with the doors they’ve opened.
We know her dad is supposedly some “real estate guru” but there aren’t any computers in the office. It’s established that he’s “old school” but I’m willing to go out on a limb to say NO business can survive without a computer.
In addition to that, the show is called, “Love That Girl!” but it seems to me that the show is setting up all the secondary characters. I want to see something else about who she is other than just the people around her. You allude to the fact that she’s divorced and her husband was a cheating asshole (cliché), but that’s all we hear.
I have so many ideas to make that show better, I would share, but my parents ain’t raise no dummy. You wanna see my ideas, give me a meeting. Hey Martin Lawrence, Bentley Kyle Evans, Jeff Franklin and Trenten Gumbs, holla at me and my girls, we can write an awesome show for you. Gimme one episode, just ONE! What’ve you got to lose?
I can either add to the show or not. Either way, it can’t hurt nothing.
The fourth and final episode comes on tonight at 9 EST. I hope the show continued to approve. I’ll be watching. You should too.

*** TV One has the first episode up on it’s web site for your, uh, viewing pleasure. ***

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Posted in hmmm, new, optimism, Random, random thoughts, rants, TV, TV One

Going Postal …

Posted on January 20, 2010 | 2 Comments

… It’s not just for Postal Workers anymore.

Virginia State Police are looking for 39-year-old Christopher Speight, a dude they say went crazy and shot and subsequently killed seven people in and around a home in Appomattox, Va., and then shot a man on the street. The police don’t have a motive. They don’t have a witness and more importantly, they don’t have the mofo who did it.
UPDATE: Batshit dude turned himself into police this morning!
In the last year, I’ve heard more about people going crazy and blowing people away than I ever have before. From New York State to Virginia to Texas to Washington State and back to Virginia, people have been going on shooting sprees killing and injuring innocent people who have nothing to do with why they are angry in the first place.
What. The. Hell? So you just HAVE to be an asshole because things aren’t going right in your life? You think everybody else’s life is all peaches and cream with unicorns and martinis? Get a damn grip!
I know times are hard. I know things are tough. And I know people can be stupid. But why is it necessary for you to go into public places to murk a group of people when you’re pissed at one? Do you HAVE to be a dick and ruin the lives of people you’ve never met?
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not an advocate of violence, but anything worth doing is worth doing right. If somebody pisses you off bad enough for you to snuff ‘em out, I need for you to focus on that one and leave everybody else alone. Must you be depressed AND selfish? Gah, if it’s THAT bad, do us all a favor and off yourself.
The economic depression that our country is facing has done something to the emotional state of Americans. People have short fuses, if they have a fuse at all. People can’t cope with being financially unstable and that has made them emotionally unstable.
For the first time in my life, I don’t have the answer. I don’t have a suggestion. I don’t even have a clever retort. This simply frightens me.
All I’m tryna say is if your ass is feeling homicidal, call me before you decide to go around shooting at folks. I may or may not try to talk you out of it, but I for damn sure ain’t going nowhere near your expected route. Give a sista a heads up and an itinerary, that’s all.
Sheeeeit, I got stuff to do. I ain’t got time to die today.

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Posted in #hellbound, #pleasedontkillme, batshit files, foolishness, hmmm, insanity, Random, random thoughts, rants